I probably shouldn't post this, but sometimes things need an outlet.
There's very little I've ever regretted in my life, if anything. I once told that to someone, and the response I got was "well then you haven't really lived yet." Honestly, I think that's complete bullshit; just because stuff happens in life that really sucks, it doesn't mean that one can't take it philosophically, and not waste themselves on feelings that have no real value. What's done is done, has always been my view, and no sense mourning it. I gotta admit though, I think I've finally done or said some things I regret, and it pains me. It's kind of odd, since I've never really felt that. Wistful, yes, and often sadly reminiscent of certain idyllic times or places, and perhaps sometimes all of the "should haves" pile up for a bit; but nothing quite like this. I feel like I needlessly lost someone very close to me, and I think it's definitely my own damn fault. I suppose this will allow me to deal with these situations with much greater wisdom in the future, but it doesn't change the fact that, if nothing changes, it's likely I will always regret what happened. Then again, maybe in the not-too-distant future, I will be able to say "and that too has passed". At least a man can hope.
Yeah, cryptic. Maybe some who read this will know what I'm talking about. If no one else has any idea, I don't really care.
On the lighter side of things, I've been getting more gigs lately. Just today I was offered a gig to fill in for this cellist with a small musical theater group (at least that's what I think it is). I'll have to sight-read some 3 hours of music, but hell, it should be fun. And I got a Christmas Eve gig at some church across town. And VSA Wisconsin wants me to play at some conference of theres. And the Madison Symphony is having me sub for two concerts. And I'm playing the Vivaldi double concerto at my old high school this Wednesday, with a talented young cellist, and getting paid; something I would have done for free if asked, but I'm not one to turn down money that's offered. So yeah, my schedule's filling up, and frankly, I'm happy about it.
There's very little I've ever regretted in my life, if anything. I once told that to someone, and the response I got was "well then you haven't really lived yet." Honestly, I think that's complete bullshit; just because stuff happens in life that really sucks, it doesn't mean that one can't take it philosophically, and not waste themselves on feelings that have no real value. What's done is done, has always been my view, and no sense mourning it. I gotta admit though, I think I've finally done or said some things I regret, and it pains me. It's kind of odd, since I've never really felt that. Wistful, yes, and often sadly reminiscent of certain idyllic times or places, and perhaps sometimes all of the "should haves" pile up for a bit; but nothing quite like this. I feel like I needlessly lost someone very close to me, and I think it's definitely my own damn fault. I suppose this will allow me to deal with these situations with much greater wisdom in the future, but it doesn't change the fact that, if nothing changes, it's likely I will always regret what happened. Then again, maybe in the not-too-distant future, I will be able to say "and that too has passed". At least a man can hope.
Yeah, cryptic. Maybe some who read this will know what I'm talking about. If no one else has any idea, I don't really care.
On the lighter side of things, I've been getting more gigs lately. Just today I was offered a gig to fill in for this cellist with a small musical theater group (at least that's what I think it is). I'll have to sight-read some 3 hours of music, but hell, it should be fun. And I got a Christmas Eve gig at some church across town. And VSA Wisconsin wants me to play at some conference of theres. And the Madison Symphony is having me sub for two concerts. And I'm playing the Vivaldi double concerto at my old high school this Wednesday, with a talented young cellist, and getting paid; something I would have done for free if asked, but I'm not one to turn down money that's offered. So yeah, my schedule's filling up, and frankly, I'm happy about it.
posted by Nabir at 12:41 AM
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